A TEXT POST

This New Life

I was at the fair when it happened, next to the old church.  From what I can tell it started with a kid who looked sick. People started to gather around to help him and that’s when he turned. He didn’t do much damage by himself. Just a few scrapes, but that’s all it took. Then people started gathering around these new victims. This time it was people I knew:  some of my old teachers, local faces.  Everyone was so curious. They just wanted to help. Its human nature, I suppose. The fairgrounds were calm at first. There was a concern in the air; you could tell something had happened but nothing out of the ordinary. We all thought someone had just fainted. That’s easy to do in this southern heat. Then it got violent quick. All the new victims turned…almost at once. Everyone was confused. It caught us off guard. It was unexpected. Most people ran, but there were still a few who tried to help. A few good-hearted idiots. I started heading to the car. But I didn’t have the keys. Dad did. Where was he? I had lost him. People were running all around me, in every direction.  Chaos.  I needed to call mom too, she was back at the house, but I couldn’t stop to do that now. I had to get out first.  I spotted a four-wheeler behind one of the stands. I made a dash for it. Someone got there before me. It was the pastor’s son, Jared. I had grown up with him. I hopped on the back. We headed towards the exit. There was a crowd of them ahead of us standing over someone.  He was slowing down…why was he slowing down?

            “That’s my dad…” he said.

            “You can’t help him. Keep going!”

As we rolled to a stop, two of them came at us.  I shook one off of me.  Jared was running toward his father.  I watched both he and his father get taken down.  More of them had noticed me by this point. The four-wheeler was surrounded by them.  I had no choice, I started running.

************************

I traveled alone for a few months.  But a few weeks ago I picked up this kid. He was about 12.  I didn’t know his name.  I don’t even know if he knew his name…he didn’t talk.  I’m sure we had pretty similar stories though. He probably lost everyone in his group.  He was probably orphaned, friendless.  It’s lonely out here.  You meet someone, they get sick, and you leave them. You don’t want to be around when they turn. You can’t stop for the sick, in this world. 

We stuck to the woods.  It was less traffic and more cover.  I figured there was a better survival rate out here.  I was hoping for some sort of life, though.  I wanted to find people, maybe a town that hadn’t been affected.  That was my hope.

One afternoon while we were traveling, I noticed that his footsteps weren’t as frequent as mine. The kid was falling behind. I looked back and he was holding his stomach. “…are you ok?” No response. We kept walking. I was getting hungry so we stopped to eat and rest for a while. He was still acting weird. That worried me and then out of the corner of my eye I saw him drop to the ground, clenching his stomach…

There was that lonely feeling again. I started running. Through the woods, trees passing by me on both sides, the ground crunching with every step.  I don’t really even know why I was trying to stay alive anymore.  The only thing I had was a single thought every morning:  “I’m not running from anything, I’m running towards everything…I hope.”

A TEXT POST

I wish I could find that place
where I put the things I used to believe.
You know, that better part of me…
The part that hoped in things unseen.
Confident, apart from how it seemed.

is this what you’re looking for: a girl to hold at night in bed? since that last one left you on your own.

is this what you’re searching for: a place to rest your weary head? because that last house didn’t feel like home. 

A TEXT POST

Then

There was an excitement in the air and it felt like all the doors were open.
Like in the spring, with the breeze, as it moves from room to room.

There was hope and anticipation lying in my living room. On the rug beneath the ceiling fan.

Yellows & blues, brown & green. In front of the tv screen.

Waiting on wings and far-off flings with open doors and window screens.

A TEXT POST

I met death once,
she was cold and beautiful.
I think I kept her warm for a while.

I knew a ghost once,
she had a hint of innocence left.
and I think I taught her how to smile.

A TEXT POST

My heart knows me well

My heart knows me well.
It’s my mind that I can’t trust.
The slips and glitches that it thinks, won’t alter my steady heartbeats.

I know my heart well, it’s the purest of the two.
I know my heart well, it’s in charge of the two.

A TEXT POST

Autobiographical

These thoughts are not me.
I am not defeated.
I was born to face giants, born to walk among lions.
I am more than a conqueror.
I was called to move mountains, to carry torches and burn out dry lands.
I was called to part oceans, not drown in them.
I’m a city on a hill, the only glowing window in a darkened skyline.
I am a child of God, and I am not defeated.

A TEXT POST

It’s a feeling worth fighting for

I love moments where I’m in my right mind these days. I’ll tell you one thing, I won’t take it for granted anymore…not after this.

it’s a good feeling.
It’s me. It’s who I used to be.
A hopeful child, not some hopeless wild vagrant from the street.

so, “swing low, sweet chariot…”

A TEXT POST

See May to October
I swore the world was mine.
When you run out of space and time
You tell the world it’s over.

A TEXT POST

born to face giants

i was molded from the cleanest of hands

brought to life with just one breath.

i was born to face giants,

born to walk among lions.

A TEXT POST

repetition

its just like the moon to shine, just like the moon to change.

A TEXT POST

irrigate

the rain finally came.

it washed away the heat and the dirt from my feet. 

quelled some worries hid beneath, my chest and that cavity there.

and quenched the soil that helped my heart to grow. 

A TEXT POST

epilogues

i’ve become obsessed with the end of the world. from zombie apocalypses to a rise of machines through a skynet system. now, i dont believe in 2012. i believe it’ll be a year just like this year. celebrities will probably die, there might be an earthquake here or there, whimpers & not bangs (right, t.s. eliot?) and wars & rumors of wars. 

it’ll probably be an interesting thing to see from above.

A TEXT POST

two sides

both God and Satan are referred to as lions and thieves. its strange that these two ideas can represent something inherently good and also something inherently evil. 

God:

1 Thessalonians 5:2

For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.

Revelation 5:5 
And one of the elders said to me, “Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.”

Satan:

John 10:10
The 
thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring 
lion, seeking someone to devour. 


A TEXT POST

why tempt someone who doesn’t have a purpose?

A TEXT POST

epilogues

i’ve become obsessed with the end of the world. from zombie apocalypses to a rise of machines through a skynet system. now, i dont believe in 2012. i believe it’ll be a year just like this year. celebrities will probably die, there might be an earthquake here or there, whispers & not bangs (right, t.s. eliot?) and wars & rumors of wars. 

i don’t know how or when the world will end but it’ll probably be an interesting thing to see from above.